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Love CAN last a life time!

It does not have to fade with time and if it has faded it can be rekindled.

Even if the fire is nearly out, it can be a roaring bonfire of love again.

Do you want your partner to LOVE you?

Is that IMPORTANT to you?

Love is based on getting your emotional needs met. If you are getting your emotional needs met you will be
IN LOVE with your partner.

I can show you the what you
MUST do to keep love alive.

Call Tom at Crossroads to Change, LLC.

321-821-4846

Continue reading »]]> Meditation was once visualized as an Eastern tradition where the person sits in a circle surrounded by candles and saying mantras or humming. Currently, meditation and its benefits are recognized and are far from what we had in mind before. Aside from the calming effect that it could bring, meditation is often said to be a path to awaken the spirit and start the journey towards spiritual awakening.

Meditation has different schools. Each school would have its own thought about meditation. There are also different techniques for meditation and it can also be classified based on their focus. There are meditative techniques which focus on a field or a background perception, while there are others which focus on a specific object.

Meditation is used to calm the mind and relax the body. Tension, stress and anxiety can be relieved by performing simple techniques. Aside from the inner peace that meditation brings, it can also improve the body’s total and general health. It is also a great way of improving your concentration. There are studies showing the relation between meditation and other concentration exercises with the performances of athletic and sport professionals.

Health benefits of meditation would include better circulation, deeper level of relaxation, increase in exercise tolerance among heart patients, regularizing blood pressure, reduces anxiety attacks and muscle tension, helps against allergies, arthritis, and shows significant help for those who are recovering from operation or surgery.

With this concentration process, you get to listen to the inner self and separate from the pressures of daily life. Understanding the inner self would lead to understanding of our higher self. This would increase our knowledge and understanding how the higher self unites with the universe. In meditation, you get the chance to tap into your inner self and get in touch on how it sees your life. Getting in touch with the inner self will provide guidance towards our happiness and fulfillment.

There are religions which advocate the use of meditation to reach enlightenment. As mentioned, there are different schools of thoughts and focus that each religion adapts. But the method or the technique used is not as important with the underlying concept that behind meditation.

Meditation is about listening to the inner self; therefore it has something to do with controlling your attention and focusing. There are too much distractions that it is very hard for some to focus their attention into what it is important and keeping the attention on fixed object. When focused on a fixed object or field, could be experienced and could take the person to a completely different state. This extreme or hyper-focus is not that easy to achieve though, there are some who would need to meditate for years to achieve it.

When hyper-focusing is achieved, the person would experience bliss. Bliss is referred to as a natural state of the soul which cannot be experienced easily in daily lives. During this meditative state, spirituality and also the mind expands its consciousness and understanding of nature and the universe. Destructive thinking and behavior, brought about by the materialistic and fast-paced world, can be flushed away by focusing more on your spirituality.

A deeper understanding and knowledge would be felt and the body would be in one with the universe. This they say would be what would link us to the Supreme Being. Attaining this hyper-focus could somehow be compared to a spiritual awakening, where the body and the mind can fully understand what cannot be seen or touched in the material world.

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Interlaced love hearts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is like an emergency room, triage for relationships.  That is how most of our relationship coaching clients come in to our practice.  They have put off getting any help until the break up seems eminent.  We are their last chance.  Our first challenge is to stop the fighting, stop the relationship hemorrhaging, so they can begin to heal.  You can’t repair a relationship until you stop ripping it apart.  But, there is more to it than just making sure the relationship makes it through the day.  Stopping the fighting is only the beginning.  You go to the emergency room to make sure you are going to live, but  healing takes longer.  At some point you have to actually address those issues that sent you to the emergency room.  At some point you have to do more than a few stitches and a bandage.

In relationship coaching far too often couple come in for the band aide and never address the cause.  Then in a few months they are right back at it, hurling grenades at one another.   If they think about coaching or counseling, it is to say we tried and it did not work.  The truth is they did not really try.   

“Not Fighting” should not be the goal.  The goal of relationship coaching is to recreate the loving relationship.  But for many couples “Not Fighting” is the only goal they can see, because finding that lost love seems too great a challenge.  It is NOT! 

As relationship coaches it is our goal to help our clients rekindle that love, to find the lost feelings of love that were once there.  And it can be done.  You don’t have to live a loveless life.  You don’t have to throw away your family, your relationship to go find love somewhere else.  You can have a loving relationship right there at home.

It is best to tend to your relationship before disaster approaches, but even if you see it on the horizon, it is not too late.  You can rebuild that loving relationship. Your relationship can be saved.

Continue reading »]]> In the morning, as you are waking, what do you think about?  In that in between time not quite awake not asleep, where does your mind wonder?

I use to lay there and go through a list of all the potential disasters I might face, what fires I would have to deal with, what crisis’ lay in store for that day.  And you know something, there were always issues to deal with, always crisis’s.  And now I know why.   You see the Law of Attraction tells me that whatever I focus on will expand.  The Universe is quite happy to provide you with all the issues you ask for.  When you are in that in between sleep and wake stage is when you are most creative, most in contact with God, The Source, The Universe.  That is when our thoughts become reality.   I would lay there in my most connected state and say “blah, blah blah CRISIS, PROBLEMS, ISSUES….  The Universe heard and Provided. 

There is a better way to use that theta wave time.  That is when we can redefine ourselves.  That is when we can redesign our future.  Instead of thinking about all of our problems or thinking about all the things we perceive to be wrong with us, let’s take that time to create a new you and a new future.

There are several way to achieve the theta state; hypnosis, deep meditation, biofeedback.  But we are naturally in that state when we are drifting into and out of sleep.  So, let’s use that time to reprogram our minds and our lives.

To do that we are going to use a visualization / breathing / affirmation technique.

First the affirmation.  It should be short, just a few words.  And it should begin with “I Am”.  A positive statement about what you want to have in your life or what you want to be.   For example, if you want to be a published novelist. It might be “I AM a novelist”. If health is your desire it might be “I Am healthy”

Next the breathing.  Place your tongue touching your upper gum right behind you front teeth.  Hold it there gently.  Now breathe in through your nose slowly and deeply, hold it, then out through your mouth with a whoosh.  In through the nose deeply, hold, and out through the mouth with a whoosh. 

Now visualize what you and your world will look like when you have achieved your desire.

 OK?   

When you first wake in the morning or as you are drifting off at night, create that image in your mind, visualize your desire.  Now breathe in slowly and deeply (stating your affirmation), hold (stating your affirmation), and release (stating your affirmation). 

Breathe in (“I Am a novelist”).  Hold (“I Am a novelist”). Blow out (“I AM a novelist”). Do six breathing cycles every morning as you awaken and six every night as you drift off. 

By doing this you are reprogramming you mind and you are telling the Universe what you want. 

Do this for 3 months and watch your world and your life change. 

It is Amazing.

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Nearly 40% (37%) of married peole in the United States are married to partners of a different religeous affiliation. That encludes Protestants married to Protestants of different affiliations such as Lutherans and Methodists. Diverse religeous backgrounds are rarely a problems during the courtship or even early in the marriage. However, the extended family, holidays and children can bring to the front any hidden or surpressed religeous issues. It is wise to discuss such issues as holidays and inlaws, and the childrens religeous up bringing before an issue arises.

Different religeous backgrouds may never be an issue, but if it does here are some suggestions to help keep the relationship strong.

Respect one anothers points of view. It does not matter if the question is about Religeon, Politics or Coke or Pepsi, it is a matter of opinion. You don’t have to agree, you do have to respect their right to have an opinion.

Find Common ground. In most religeon there are common threads. Some form f the Godlden Rule, Some focus on morality and goodness are found in are found in nearly every religeon. Find your common values and develop you core beliefs together. Embrace you common spirituallity.

Resist family pressure. You and your partner are a couple, not you and the en-laws and the cousins and the guys at work and best buds. Find what is important to the two of you and stick to it. Respect others opinions but they are just opinions.

Teach your children well. Show them how your respect and compromise works well in your life. Develop a plan that allows the children to know and understand both partners religeous prespectives. Teach them the traditions of both parents religeons and allow then to grow into their own spiritual perspective.

Do not coerce. Don’t try to convert your partner. It is one thing to discuss differing points of view regarding most any subject, but to try to force your opinion upon someone is a sure way to create issues in a relationship. It is all about respect and compromise.